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Q
Last year my third-grader loved school, but since this
school year started she has developed a terrible attitude about going to
school, her teacher, homework, even her classmates. I am concerned and
wonder what I can do to change Amanda’s attitude.
Grouchy Girl’s Mom in Galesburg
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A
Have
there been any major changes in your family life or structure? Often,
children react to a divorce, a new sibling, or a relocation by redirecting
their anger. These issues need to be openly addressed. Perhaps counseling
might be helpful. If there have been no changes on the home front, look at
the school environment.
Has
Amanda become a target of teasing or social outcasting by her classmates?
Children can often be cruel about simple things like wearing glasses or
having a different accent. If she is being harassed talk to her to learn
the extent of the situation and then meet with and talk to her teacher.
Reinforcing your daughter’s self-esteem will help her minimize the
importance she places on the opinions of others.
Is
she suddenly having difficulties with her schoolwork or homework
assignments? Fear of failure could be a strong motivator for trying to
avoid the whole school issue. If she is having a tough time, get her some
extra help in the form of tutoring. Be sure to emphasize that needing help
doesn’t mean that she is “stupid” or a bad student.
Keep
in mind that children also mimic the attitudes of others. Amanda may just
be adopting the “anti-school” attitude she hears peers, or older
students, mouthing. Nobody wants to be “uncool” if the norm on the
playground is school bashing.
The
most important things you can do to help Amanda’s attitude are to keep a
up-beat attitude yourself and to keep an open line of communication. If
the idea of education and being a responsible school citizen is positively
fostered at home, your daughter won’t feel embarrassed about enjoying
school herself. Daily conversations about her school day will not only
show your interest but will provide a chance for her to open up about what
she is feeling and experiencing.
Listen closely and you will be able to pinpoint trouble
spots. When these occur, act calmly but quickly to head off the problem.
Use her teacher as a resource for making Amanda’s school encounters
positive. Together you can provide the support and help to build a
lifelong love of learning. Don’t let your third-grader’s bad attitude
grow into an impenetrable wall that blocks out the wonders of discovery. |
